Linda Oberhaus Executive director, Shelter for Abused Women & Children of Collier County says …

Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and from era to era.

Say “domestic violence” and thoughts like physical abuse, anger, rage, victim, pity, manipulation, “that’s someone else’s problem” and “won’t ever happen to me” may come to mind.

There may even be some blame toward the victim for not leaving.

It’s easier that way — to think that you will never be a victim, that violence doesn’t touch your life.

But, the reality is that it does touch your life and affect your loved ones whether through personal experience, secondhand experience of a friend, co-worker or loved one, or the cost emotionally, psychologically, physically and/or financially to our society.

We’ve already touched on this in a previous National Domestic Violence Awareness Month guest commentary, but it’s important for each of us to understand that we are already experiencing the impact of this violence in our homes, neighborhoods, schools and communities.

To address this abuse, we need to understand that domestic violence, in its many forms, is not about anger, stress, rage or even frustration — although these factors may contribute to the pattern of abuse.

Dating violence, bullying, domestic violence, elder abuse and related child abuse and animal cruelty are about power and control — one person exerting power over another; one person controlling another.

More here: Linda Oberhaus: Domestic violence is not about losing temper, anger management

You are welcome to add your experiences in the comments below about Domestic Violence

Dealing with anger through prayer

Photo by VAN DEN BERGE

Anger management is a frequent topic of discussion these days. Various techniques and classes have been designed to help adults and children handle anger issues in ways that are neither destructive nor disruptive. As someone who has spent some time both in lively classrooms and in stressful offices, I appreciate efforts to effect a more peaceful environment. But these techniques and classes assume that anger is an integral part of who we are—something one needs to live with, manage, cope with in some way. In other words, the assumption is that anger is just part of our nature.

“Let discord of every name and nature be heard no more, and let the harmonious and true sense of Life and being take possession of human consciousness”

Are we truly flawed beings? If we believe what the Bible teaches – that God is infinite, all-power, and good, and that we are His image and likeness – we then must be infinitely good. This is in fact our true nature. God didn’t make us angry any more than He made us sick. This picture of an angry or sick mortal can’t be what God sees. Jesus explained this seeming contradiction by identifying evil, the devil, as “a liar, and the father of it” (John 8:44).

That picture of angry, squabbling, sick, and sinful mortals turns out to be erroneous – part of the bigger lie of life caught in matter and separated from God. Aided by the ever-present Christ – God’s tangible presence that comes to our consciousness and lifts us up – we can wake up from this lie when we get a glimpse of our true spiritual nature as God’s image and likeness. In this transforming Christ-light, we grasp God’s infinitely good nature, and we experience healing. In this Christ-light, anger isn’t just managed; it is eradicated.

Staying in the light might seem awfully hard. I love a verse from the Bible that indicates something of how Jesus spent his day. It’s a simple verse from Luke: “And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee” (4:14). To me, being “in the power of the Spirit” means that one’s thought is so aligned with the infinite nature of Spirit, God, that any deviation from that standard of perfection is impossible. It’s not a matter of willpower in refraining from anger, but of consecration to good that makes the suggestion of anger impossible. Certainly it takes disciplined prayer to achieve this Christly consciousness, but Jesus did tell us to follow his example, and he wouldn’t have given us an impossible task to perform.

I find that preparing myself every day, by studying the Bible and praying, helps me see my true identity as God’s perfect idea, and this is invaluable when those temptations of irritation, frustration, and outright anger come along. I was always told I had a terrible temper, and I believed it for years and acted that way. I’m not saying that I’ve completely overcome all temptations to be angry, but learning to follow Jesus’ example by moving “in the power of the Spirit” has certainly helped.

As God’s sons and daughters, each of us lives as the reflection of divine Life. This Life is steady, continuous, without provocation, and is marked by continuously developing good. Seeing God as our Life helps me know that God is right there next to me, always providing me with all the good I need.

Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of the Monitor, wrote in her major work, “Let discord of every name and nature be heard no more, and let the harmonious and true sense of Life and being take possession of human consciousness” (“Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” p. 355).

To see the allness of God, the divine Life, expressed in human experience, so that there just isn’t any opportunity to react angrily – this is to me the eradication, not just management, of anger. As I’ve been able to let God take possession of my consciousness, my days have been a lot smoother and my relationships happier.

Reference: Dealing with anger through prayer

What is your response to this anger management technique via prayer? Will it help you to deal with life’s frustrations? Is this a powerful technique whatever your faith?

Or perhaps: God’s get-well pill for anger is forgiveness.

But I fear many people’s mantra is “Don’t get mad. GET EVEN!” “Revenge is sweet,” so they say.

What is your perspective on Anger Management Through Prayer? Add your comments below …

So low levels of serotonin can cause the blues and worse! So that with low levels of serotonin the brain finds it more difficult to control emotional responses – Yahoo News reports as follows on Why it is Hard to Control Anger …

When levels of a brain chemical called serotonin are low, which often occur when someone hasn’t eaten or is stressed, it may be more difficult for individuals to control their anger and, in turn, make them more prone to aggression, UKL researchers say.

For the study, healthy volunteers’ serotonin levels were altered by manipulating their diet.

The researchers then scanned the volunteers’ brains using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) as they viewed faces with angry, sad, and neutral expressions.

The research revealed that low brain serotonin made communications between specific brain regions of the emotional limbic system of the brain (a structure called the amygdala) and the frontal lobes weaker compared to those present under normal levels of serotonin.

The findings suggest that when serotonin levels are low, it may be more difficult for the prefrontal cortex to control emotional responses to anger that are generated within the amygdala.

Using a personality questionnaire, they also determined which individuals have a natural tendency to behave aggressively.

In these individuals, the communications between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex was even weaker following serotonin depletion.

As a result, those individuals who might be predisposed to aggression were the most sensitive to changes in serotonin depletion.

The study was recently published in the journal Biological Psychiatry. (ANI)

Link to Yahoo News Report

So what can we do to address low serotonin levels and help to control anger? An interesting article – follow this link – to learn about 10 quick boosters for serotonin levels: 10 Quick Tips to Boost Your Serotonin

People use both conscious and unconscious processes to cope with their angry emotions. The three principal methods of how to relieve anger are expressing, curbing, and calming. Articulating your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest strategy to express anger. To do this, you have to discover ways to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them fulfilled, without abusing other people. Appearing assertive does not mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself as well as others. Here is an extract from an article ….

But when Anger gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.

How to Relieve Anger – the processes

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses on how to relieve anger that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

• Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
• Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
• Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
• Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
• Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you’re in a tense situation.

Reference: Controlling Anger – Before it Controls You

These simple strategies outline techniques on How to Relieve Anger. Do not expect to implement these techniques overnight, you need to focus on introducing them over period of time. You will gain in confidence as positive results begin to appear.

You ABSOLUTELY have the power to control your anger!

The first Anger Management technique is silence. When you allow yourself to fly off the handle you give yourself permission to remain angry. Keeping your mouth shut may not be easy but will quickly help your calm down.

The second Anger Management technique is to take long, deep breaths. You should breath in through the nose and out through your mouth. Try to make each breath the longest breath you have ever taken. Slow breathing has been shown to naturally reduce heart rate and blood pressure, and by concentrating your mind on your breath, you are releasing your anger from your mind.

The last Anger Management technique is the easiest, smile! It may seem silly and when you are enraged and you may think its impossible to do, but force yourself to smile. It will change your mood like magic.

Here are some additional Anger Management Techniques:

MBLAQ’s Lee Joon Reveals His “Anger Management Techniques”
Soompi, on Tue, 13 Sep 2011 07:37:54 -0700

MBLAQ Lee Joon shared one of his “Anger Management Techniques” on the Chuseok special “King of Reading Quiz,” aired on KBS. The special went on

Effective Techniques for Relieving Stress | Welcome To cherolin.info

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If you feel you have serious emotional issues, counseling or anger management might be a good idea. Emotional freedom technique, or EFT, is a simple self healing technique that’s good for stress. It’s a simple tapping technique where you …

Check out Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers

Image by Yotsuba

Gina Bendel reports on how anger was displayed in her home as a child, revealing how it contributes to need for effective anger management in children. She reveals some tips on how  she copes with anger situations. Teenagers will need guidance to adopt these techniques: anger management in children. Here are some extracts from her article….

I learned very quickly what anger is and I believed that it was something adults were allowed but not little children.  If I felt anger, my father would “give me something to whine about”

Here are a few tools to help you to manage your own anger in a safe, healthy way.

1.  Acknowledge that you feel angry as soon as you begin to feel it and then calmly voice that you feel angry and why.  If the anger feels too intense, remove yourself from the situation immediately if possible.
2. Write your feelings out – being as real and honest about what you are feeling as you can.  Then rip it up or burn it and imagine “releasing” it to the wind or keep a journal and write down your feelings there.
3. Consider some sort of meditation.  There are meditation videos on YouTube – just do a google search.  Meditation music videos are a great start.  Or check around for yoga or other classes offered in your area.  The main idea is to find a means to relax your body and mind.
4. Find a quiet space and cry if you feel the need to do so.  Releasing emotion through tears is healthy – holding it in can do more damage by allowing the anger to grow out of control.
5. If the anger is toxic and has been built up over a long time, it may be best to seek help to deal with any unresolved issues. 

Original article: Anger Management: Ways to Stay Calm

For children especially exposed to anger in the home, it is difficult for them to not believe this is not the norm. Education, education, education!  Hopefully they can adopt some of these techniques to help – Anger Management in children.

Charlie Sheen Photo by Matthew Straubmuller

Bruce Helford will help Charlie Sheen build his way back onto series television. Deadline reported that “The Drew Carey Show” creator has sealed his deal with Lionsgate TV to serve as a writer, executive producer and showrunner for the actor’s new sitcom “Anger Management”.

Helford, who also created successful sitcom “George Lopez”, was one of several veteran showrunners who were eyed to nurture “Anger Management”. With him being on board, it is expected that Lionsgate and its subsidiary Debmar-Mercury will shop the project to potential buyers next week.

“Anger Management” is based on the 2003 hit comedy film of the same name. It follows Adam Sandler as a mild-mannered, non-confrontational man who is ordered to attend group anger management sessions led by a therapist who could probably use some anger management himself.

Original Post: Charlie Sheen’s ‘Anger Management’ Officially Nabs ‘Drew Carey Show’ Creator

From the UK, the prime contender must be Naomi Campbell! Between 1998 and 2008, Campbell was accused ten times of committing acts of violence against employees, associates, and, in one instance, police officers. In 2000, Campbell pleaded guilty in Toronto to assaulting her personal assistant Georgina Galanis with a cell phone.

Naomi Campbell has revealed she is still struggling with anger management and her efforts are very much a “work in progress”.

In a satellite and cable TV channel interview to be broadcast on Wednesday, Campbell, 41, is asked if she has broken the pattern of attacks and tantrums.

She says she has “no regrets” adding: “Work in progress. I’ve apologised, accepted responsibility, I did my community service.” Of the outbursts, she says: “There’s no reason for doing that. It’s more like seeing or understanding a pattern you have to break.”

Original Post: Naomi Campbell: I’m still working on my anger

Any other contenders for the Anger Management Rogues Gallery? Add your suggestions to the Comment section below!

Why consider Anger Management for Teenagers? As a kid comes to understand the teenage world, there are many confusions, conflicts and chaos to their lives, which can sometimes impact on their emotional well-being. As kids make the transition into a teenager, these competing factors can effect their physical state and mind. This may turn to anger if they are not guided well. Parents and teachers must educate the kids during these transitional changes and help them understand what is happening to their bodies and effectively offer – perhaps unwittingly – anger management.

Teens can react indifferently if they are confused. Young teens from twelve to sixteen years of age are more prone to doing things their own way because they feel that their emotions and freedom are being controlled, this results in unmanaged anger.

Teens in today’s world are more prone to pressures compared to the teens of the past. They are more exposed to violence and hostility in their own environment or via social media. Unfortunately some teens may come from a broken home where domestic abuse is constantly present. Exposure to such events can determine the way teenagers react. Their anger can be expressed in the most antisocial form. That is why sometimes, they are required to undergo anger management.

Teenager Anger Management

Teens may experience frustrations that drive them to do criminal acts. The best way to protect a teen from this world is to seek help from their parents, teachers and law enforcers. They can train the teenager how to respond rationally to all these external stresses. They can teach the teens how to identify negative feelings and practice more mature behaviors as well. This type of anger management program teaches them to improve their behaviors into ways that are more acceptable. They will be taught how to think positive especially if their home environment is difficult. From this, they can now learn how to handle difficult feelings and control anger.

The concept of anger management generally identifies a system of psychological & therapeutic tactics and exercises where someone with extreme or uncontrollable anger and hostility can manage or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angry emotional state. In some countries, courses in anger management may be required by their legal system.

Anger management counseling can be sought for many reasons. In some cases, a doctor, spouse, or supervisor may recommend it. In other cases, a person may be able to contain physical and verbal expressions of anger, but realize that emotionally, his or her rage surpasses what one should expect in a given situation. At the point of this recognition, a wise person will consider anger management classes, training, or counsel to keep their emotions under check and to manage responses in a healthy way.

What Does Anger Management Counseling Involve?

Any type of personal counseling proceeds effectively when the client admits there is a problem or that others believe he or she has a problem. In this case, anger management counseling will focus on exploring the roots of unresolved anger, discovering triggers of current or unexplained anger, and looking at ways to try and bring anger under reasonable control. Working with a trained and possibly licensed therapist, a client will answer many questions about personal history, current conditions, and future expectations. He may even take one or more psychology tests that could provide insight to the patient’s mindset.

If anger management counseling warrants, a client may be referred to a doctor for a medical work-up that could check the person’s hormonal levels, blood levels, and overall condition to see if health problems play a role. Perhaps the prescription of a mood elevator, an anti-anxiety or bi-polar medication, or another type of medicine will have a positive effect on helping someone manage anger difficulties.

Anger management counseling also may involve the recommendation of self-help techniques that someone can practice at home or on the job. These might include keeping a journal and writing about negative feelings, getting a pet to help reduce irritation and promote a serene home environment, learning to adjust expectations, and being honest about disappointment, hurt, or irritation. Even adopting an exercise routine can help to balance bodily functions and contribute to a greater sense of well being.

Since each therapist uses different techniques, your sessions may be very different from those experienced by other clients. Your counselor may recommend group therapy, for instance, or family therapy if relatives are impacted by the situation.

Anger Management and Your Health

Anger can affect your physical health. Therefore, anger management is necessary to achieve optimum health. It requires a multi-dimensional approach. The various aspects of this approach may include counseling, anger management, meditation, and physical exercise. People should not be haunted by emotional stress. Instead, they should look and try to understand where it is coming from. There are various support groups and solutions that are easily accessible to help someone cope with emotional stress and illnesses. One should not dwell on negative feelings and emotions, which can only hamper the beauty of the different colors of life.